


The Shizu-dere and His Flea

by robin_X3



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Highschool Setting, Humor, M/M, More like a shoujo manga setting, Or Is It?, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27685541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robin_X3/pseuds/robin_X3
Summary: Imagine if Durarara was set in a shoujo manga, and Izaya was the main heroine?A crack-y Shizaya take on common (overused) shoujo manga tropes, complete with Izaya being a troll and Shizuo being a tsundere.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Kudos: 12





	The Shizu-dere and His Flea

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't feel like editing the next fic in my crack-meme-Shizaya series, so I decided to post this old unfinished, rotting at the bottom of my file storage somewhere-fic before I accidentally deleted it too. Oops.

Prologue

It was a glorious moment in the life of one Orihara Izaya. 

Why? 

Because he was flying. 

Ah, the cool pre-winter wind in his hair, rose petals from the ripped flower bouquet dancing in the background, and the glaring sun's blinding rays in his eyes- it would be a near perfect feeling, only if he had initiated the flying and had any idea how to land. 

But he didn't. 

So it wasn't **really** as glorious a feeling.

And why was he flying if he didn't know how to land?

Well, to know that, we have to go to a flashback:

[[A few minutes ago]]

The crowd murmured, some discreetly pointing fingers while the others got ready to disperse at the first signs of creaking metal.

But all that went unnoticed to the duo at the center, as they stared, deeply, passionately, into eachothers' eyes.

" **IZAYA!** " growled Shizo.

"Yes Shizu-chan?" purred Izaya.

“Why are you here?”

“Ara? You asked me to ‘come out and play.’ So here I am,” Izaya gave an elaborate bow, “at your service” and looked up, making eye contact with Shizuo and winking.

Shizuo blushed.

“Don’t make everything sound so vulgar! There are kids here! Let’s go to my place…”

“KYAA~! Shizu-chan no baka~!” squealed Izaya in a girly voice, and hid his face in his hands.

“Wha?”

“Asking a fair maiden like myself to go to a dirty beastly man’s house like yourself so you can ravish me away from prying eyes, when you haven’t even proposed to me or anything!”

"Shut up! It's not like I love you or anything..b..baka!"

"Oh? Really?" Izaya smiled, and prowled towards Shizuo, who stood rooted to the spot at the sensuous (sinister) smile. "So when you went on a date with me,"he stepped forward, "and when you saved my life," step "and also when you kissed me," and he was brushing noses with Shizuo.

Shizuo gulped. 

The mothers covered their children's eyes.

"Was that how you greet all your friends?" 

"Ok fine! I love you," confessed Shizuo, and thrust the bouquet of roses he had been hiding behind him into Izaya’s hands.

"OOOH!" went the crowd.

Momentary silence descended: you could hear the whole Shizaya/Izuo-fan crowd taking in a deep breath as one, as they waited for Izaya’s response.

Izaya blinked, a surprised look seeming to appear on his face. He brought the flowers to his nose and sniffed it.

At last, he raised his glistening eyes to Shizuo.

"I love me too!" and the smile Izaya gave could blind a dead man.

"BAM!" went the lamp-post as it met Izaya's body, and sent him flying.

And that was why Orihara Izaya was now sailing through the skies of Ikebukuro.

* * *

_What? Still not good enough for you? You want the whole story, the full scoop?_

_Greedy little shits, aren't you?_

_Okay then, hang on tight._

_Let's begin from the beginning!_

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever stop writing crack Durarara? Will I ever get better at writing crack? Will I ever finish this fic?🤔


End file.
